KERRY Katona broke down in tears in an emotional interview with The Sun, which saw her open up about the tragic death of her ex George Kay in July 2019.
The 40-year-old star bravely spoke out on addiction after losing two loved ones to the illness in just 18 months, with Kerry left devastated in March following her beloved auntie Angela’s passing.
Kerry broke down in tears as she bravely opened up in an emotional interview with The Sun[/caption]
For the first time, Kerry told The Sun of her anger over George’s “selfish” addiction, with his lethal overdose leaving their seven-year-old daughter Dylan-Jorge without a dad.
In our exclusive chat, Kerry was visibly overcome with emotion as she sobbed: “George is my baby’s daddy and she’s never, ever going to see him again and I’ve got so much anger towards him for that. I’m so angry.
“You become very, very selfish when you have an addiction. You don’t think about other people, and sometimes even your flesh and blood isn’t enough, and that’s really selfish.
“He’s going to be missing out on so many wonderful things, because that kid is one amazing kid.”
Her beloved auntie Angela passed away in March following a battle with alcohol addiction[/caption]
Ex George Kay died in July 2019 after an overdose[/caption]
The brave star spoke out on the difficult topic to help raise awareness[/caption]
The mother-of-five went on to recall a distressing video of George suffering from psychosis while naked and surrounded by police that emerged before his death, telling us: “Then in the other respect… I’m not happy, I’m not glad, but I never want her to witness the things I had to witness with him.
“There was a video of George on a roof, high as a kite, psychosis, naked, screaming, shouting, surrounded by police. He wasn’t with me at the time, and that’s in the public domain.
“I don’t want DJ to go through that, I don’t want DJ to have to witness it, that’s why I know I will never touch another drug again in my life. If I was to have a line of coke and something was to happen to me, can you imagine the shame I’d bring on my kids? Like I’ve not put them through enough.”
Kerry hoped that speaking out on addiction would help destigmatise the illness, with the star now proudly 13 years clean of drugs after first being introduced to speed by her mum when she was just 14 years old.
She shares her youngest child with George[/caption]
Kerry shared her ‘anger’ that daughter DJ doesn’t have her dad[/caption]
The star is 13 years clean of drugs after battling cocaine addiction[/caption]
She confessed to purposefully binging on drugs to fit at her lowest point[/caption]
At her lowest point, Kerry was suicidal and she wept as she admitted in our exclusive interview that she would purposefully binge on drugs to take her to the brink of death and trigger terrifying fits.
She recalled feeling as though she was “being brought back by angels” – which was the “only time” that she ever felt loved.
The brave star told us: “I think the suicidal thoughts were my lowest, it felt very selfish of me being a mother. I thought I never wanted to do that to my kids… But I went about it in a different way, I went about it if I do loads of drugs then I’ll have fits.
“I remember I’d have these fits, I’d froth, my eyes rolled back, I think I just completely died but something brought me back. It was the most wonderful feeling, it sounds so weird but it was like being surrounded by angels bringing me back.
You're Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Movember, www.uk.movember.com
- Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm
Kerry confessed her five children could ‘not have a mum’ now due to her addiction[/caption]
“It was the most wonderful feeling ever, I kept trying to do it because it was the only time I really felt loved but that was a really selfish thing because my kids could not have a mum now.”
Kerry went on to explain that cocaine was “her best friend”, and despite her troubled life she has no regrets, reasoning: “Things happen for a reason, I’ve been through what I’ve been through to tell this story today – I don’t regret any of it.
“I can’t regret any of it, I’m on the path I’m supposed to be on and for a reason, and that’s to share my story. If I can get from doing drugs, being bankrupt, being on death’s door, having fits, frothing at the mouth, to being where I am now then anyone can do it.
“I had to be my own hero, I had to do it myself, I had to want to do it.”
The star wept as she shared her pride at how far she has come[/caption]
But deeply regrets ‘washing her hands of’ her late auntie for her own addiction[/caption]
But Kerry fought tears as she admitted to her guilt over much-loved auntie Angela’s death, weeping as she admitted to becoming a “snob” in her own recovery and “washing her hands of” her auntie.
The star called herself a “hypocrite” for not doing more, explaining: “I hadn’t spoken to Angela in years because I washed my hands of her, I hadn’t spoken to her in years. So hypocritical of somebody who has been there and done all that… I became a bit of a snob in my own recovery.
“So callous, to be like: ‘Oh, I’ve tried to help you Angela, I’m done with you now’. That’s something I will never forgive myself for.”
Kerry went on to share her pain at refusing to speak to her aunt on the phone just one month before her death – storming out of the room instead.
The mother-of-five regrets being a ‘hypocrite’[/caption]
She and Angela were always incredibly close[/caption]
Kerry is just 10 years younger than Angela and grew up with her, saying that she was more like a sister than an auntie. She was left stunned when she was a teenager and her grandma told her that Angela had been sacked for drinking on the job, having had no idea of her auntie’s demons.
She told us: “You’d look at her and you’d think her life was perfect. That’s what you’d actually think – no problems whatsoever. When actually she had the biggest problem of all; she was an alcoholic.”
Angela moved in with Kerry for six weeks when she was still dating George, and the singer was able to get her sober through workshops, boot camps, and medication.
Kerry holds onto guilt over Angela’s death[/caption]
But she relapsed, and tragically died after attempting to go “cold turkey” without seeking professional help or guidance, which Kerry believes was due to the “shame” that comes with being an addict.
She explained: “Going cold turkey is one of the worst things you can do to yourself, coming off alcohol is worse than coming off heroin because your body can go into shock and you can die just like that.
“Angela died on 18th March, she spent Mother’s Day with her three kids and on Mother’s Day she wasn’t drinking; the coroner report said she was dying, and nobody knew.
She tragically passed away after trying to go cold turkey without any professional help[/caption]
“She’d lost a lot of weight, gone very thin, and her body was just shutting down. That’s what it was. I always tell people they need to speak to their GP because you should never try to stop these things on your own.
“The message I want to get across is don’t be ashamed, don’t feel embarrassed. Feel brave that you’re taking this step and recognising there’s something wrong. Go and get the help you need.
“Towards the end, Angela wouldn’t let anybody in her flat, she wouldn’t let anybody see her that way, so she tried to do it all herself and that’s something you just can’t do.”
Kerry doesn’t want others to suffer in the same way[/caption]
The star is thriving in sobriety and enjoys a low-key life with fiance Ryan and her children[/caption]
Kerry wept as she went on: “I’ve made so many mistakes over the years but I’m so proud of what I’ve been through and I just wish Angela felt that strength to ask for help and wasn’t bothered about what everyone else was thinking of her because those opinions don’t matter.”
Kerry was able to get the help she needed through repeated stints in rehab, boot camps, and ultimately cutting herself off from all of the bad influences in her life by packing up her car and driving 400 miles away.
She also got to know her triggers and insisted she will never touch a drug again in her life.
If you think that you have a drug addiction then please contact your GP.
You can also visit FRANK for honest information about drugs and to find local treatment services.
If you are having trouble finding the right help, call the FRANK drugs helpline on 03001236600
Or click here to visit the NHS website for more advice and support
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Kerry now enjoys a quiet life with her family, including a low-key romance with fiance Ryan who she has been with for three years but largely keeps out of the public eye.
She is open about her addiction battle with 19-year-old Molly, 18-year-old Lilly-Sue, 14-year-old Heidi, 13-year-old Maxwell, and seven-year-old Dylan-Jorge – insisting that she won’t “bury her head in the sand” as if she didn’t speak openly to her kids then they’d find out from other people.
But ultimately, Kerry couldn’t be prouder of herself for breaking the cycle, getting back on her feet, and thriving in sobriety – even securing a mortgage to buy a house of her own in April.
And she hopes that by telling her own story as well as Angela and George’s she will be able to help others overcome addiction, telling us: “That’s all that matters – if I can save one person’s life, it has all been worth it.”
Contact the Samaritans
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article contact The Samaritans on 116 123. They are available for free at anytime.
Or email https://www.samaritans.org/