DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend is the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. My problem is she is still friends with her ex.
They have plenty of history and she cheated on her last three boyfriends with him.
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I call him The Stench because he is always lurking in her life.
She says she’s ready to settle down with me so I don’t want to start accusing her but his presence unsettles me.
Recently she’s been on a couple of walks with him, with my knowledge. She’s 23 and he’s 25.
We met in the pub, when she was a barmaid. I’m a builder and would go into the pub where she was working early on a Friday.
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When she had a flat tyre one night, I changed the wheel for her and she gave me a lift home.
She gave me a “thank you” kiss outside my house and asked for my phone number.
I couldn’t wait to see her again.
Soon after she came to my flat when I was on a day off and we enjoyed some incredible sex — we didn’t leave the bedroom all day.
We are now very much together, but I’m regretting giving her the green light to go on those walks with The Stench.
Her own dad called me a muppet when he found out I’d said it would be OK. Now she says she needs to collect her things from his flat but why didn’t she do this when she first left him two years ago?
I’m convinced if I let her go she’ll end up having sex with him.
She said those days are gone but I don’t fully trust her.
I’m 29 and don’t think she’s interested in getting back with him but she’s told me he was good in bed.
I’m already wondering if she’s cheating on me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s early days and given her history, you are bound to be wary. You’re learning more about one another and how best you can make this relationship work.
The fact she wants to collect her stuff shows that she’s decided that this guy is history.
Insisting that she can’t go will make her see red so suggest driving her to his place while you wait around the corner for her.
He could even leave out her things to collect.
If you can make your relationship as good as possible, then she’ll want to hold on to what you have together.
My support packs, Looking After Your Relationship and Dealing With Jealousy will help.